‘Becoming’ of an Existential Entrepreneur and Leader’- Part 1
‘Shameless and Stubborn’ — Yes I Am and Very Proudly!
An entrepreneur’s perspective about two commonly mis-understood words and the truth of its positive impacts in life, especially in leadership and entrepreneurship. By Rohith Rajan, CEO - D.Gurus
Disclaimer: The current article, along-with upcoming articles of the series only intends to throw light on certain core attitudes which grow into characters of an individual, and more importantly, mould future Entrepreneurs and Leaders.
I would like to begin this article, by requesting everyone reading to ask themselves, regardless of whether you are an entrepreneur or a leader, ‘to first think about being shameless and stubborn. Now, hold your thoughts and keep reading further.’
You might be wondering about the weirdness in the title, where, being an entrepreneur, I am accepting to be ‘Shameless’ and ‘Stubborn’, openly and very proudly, wearing it like a crown!
Here’s how it all started.
It was during my early days of teenage, when I confessed to my mother that I felt ashamed of the reactions amongst my friends when they came to know that I have been learning Bharatnatyam and Kuchipudi (Indian Classical Dance forms which are predominantly practiced by women and rarely by men).
My mother replied, ‘Don’t let shame keep you from learning something that you want to, even if you are the only person to learn. Instead, be proud that you are the ‘first and only person to do so!’
Acting on her words, an incident during my secondary education itself, which liberated me from shame and fear, making me an empowered and a confident individual.
It was an experience during English examination, where I recited the poem ‘Home They Brought Her Warrior Dead’ by Alfred Tennysson, with a slang. It was very unusual and uncommon, leaving the entire classroom including the teacher, in laughter.
Upon hearing my explanation and understanding the reason of my sheer confidence, to be something very unexpected and bizarre, starting that day and till completion of my higher education, I used to be called ‘shameless’, filled with affection, appreciation and acceptance.
Never had I ever imagined, a decade down the lane, it would become the title of my first article in Medium and interestingly it also is first among several other unconventional rules which are expected to be followed in my organisations.
The Swamp: Society and Social Stigmas
From childhood itself, we fall victims to judgements, derogatory criticisms and harmful comparisons against peers, by parents, educational institutions and the list just goes on.
Unfortunately, it chases a child even decades later into the workplace, and even to his own family, where he/she is presented with a ‘choice’, — choice to make a difference in the world by choosing between, ‘remaining the same version of the adult, he had in his life’, or ‘being an adult whom he wanted to have in his life, totally unbound by norms and taboos of the society.’
A Poisoned Well: Passing on Deliberate Ignorance
The same happens in majority workplaces, where an intern or a person in the lower hierarchy of the pyramid, would not share his ideas or views. Either afraid of bringing forth a wrong suggestion, or agitating his immediate senior.
Once again their choices and actions, become dependent on the fear of embarrassment and shame which is triggered due to the ‘uncertainty or inability to predict an outcome’.
Perception matters. Perceive every mistake, or loss to be a ‘learning curve’ and you would find wonders happening!
Even before making an attempt, predominantly, the very first thought of, ‘what if it doesn’t’, rushes before ‘what if it does’.
The ‘fear of being wrong’, trumps the ‘excitement in being right!’
Every single time, the first and foremost thought that arises happens to be negative or harmful in every way!
And sadly, these mark the beginning of the corruption of young, enthusiastic minds, worsens as they grow old, where acceptance amongst peers and by their family, steers their choices and course of actions.
‘Shame’ leads to negative emotions such as guilt, ego, fear and jealousy. Which makes even an individual with moral codes of conduct, ethics, values and virtues choose exactly the opposite of what he would have chosen, if he would asked to make wearing a mask, forgetting the prejudicial judgements of a layman.
In entrepreneurship and leadership, decisions have to be made frequently. At times, even more frequently before the results of their previous decisions unfold!
On top of it, there comes the factor of time constraint, where fear and hesitation are the major roadblocks.
And the root cause of all insecurities, fear, anxiety and so on, is ‘Shame’!
Sad Reality: Perceived Meaning of Stubbornness
Stubbornness is another word which people naturally tend to think negatively and very easily.
Like most other characters, this too is moulded, very early in the childhood. During childhood, most parents give in to every whims of their child, at the very onset of his/her whining.
And in my belief, ‘work-from-home’, would have only worked as a catalyst to it (pun intended).
When they fulfil those without educating the child about the cost involved, it ultimately results in development of men and women who are stubborn, arrogant, ignorant and more importantly, weak in moral and morale.
Cosidering the facts mentioned above and its associated behaviour, ‘stubbornness’ evidently seems to be the ‘curse’ as exactly perceived by the common society.
Reality: Flipping the Coin of Perception
When looked at from certain perspectives, under certain scenarios, it aren’t such.
Rather,
‘Stubbornness’ is a boon to anyone who is ambitious.
Highly ambitious individuals, have always been, and will always be, tried rigorously. And as they progress, the journey just becomes more exhausting!
But for any individual who is ‘strong willed’, they fight their way through it.
In the above sentence, just by replacing ‘stubbornness’ with ‘strong will’, it sounds more ‘positive and optimistic’ (or at-least I hope so!).
For an Entrepreneur or a leader, the right amount of stubbornness, is exactly the so called ‘strong will’, that is imperative in achieving their dreams.
But, like two sides of the same coin, if it aren’t for the right reasons, at the right time, for the right situation, stubbornness would lead to nothing other than destruction and downfall.
Fullfillment and Achievement: Power in Being Shameless and Stubborn
This particular article is dearer to me and always will be, regardless of the shortcomings in it.
My entrepreneurial journey started at the age of 21, during my undergrad. And I have seen its celebrated highs and loneliest lows.
I am writing this simultaneously, while undergoing a Corporate Espionage which has shattered both, my personal and professional life, where I have lost almost everything that is monetary and physical in existence except certain things.
As I neared the conclusion, I thought of attaching the responses from a research study I conducted few months back (a study in Organisational Behaviour), where every team-member bared themselves, mentioned shyness and the confidence to be something they wanted to overcome and be empowered with.
But, with very sorrow I would like to apologise for the inability to prove it as only a few hours ago I found that every piece of my hard-work including documents of multiple researches, and specificially curated knowledge bases, have been wiped clean.
Those which took almost two years of my hard-work and sleepless nights, gained literally sacrificing few years from my lifetime, are all gone.
I am only left with my knowledge, wisdom, abilities and more importantly a choice!
Leadership and Entrepreneurship are different. Entrepreneurship is ‘problem solving’ but leadership is a ‘choice’; choice to lead.
A choice to lead a group of individuals from diverse backgrounds, ethnicity, sex, knowledge and skillsets, towards achieving a goal or a vision, both as an organisation and also as an individual.
And when that vision is something more than making money, stands for something of meaning, noble in everyway, it becomes a purpose.
The Conclusion: Reality of Entrepreneurship and Leadership
Very Recently, at the end of a very long due sales and marketing team meeting, one of our new recruits undergoing training mentioned about feeling ‘shy’ while pitching our neo-bank accounts to clients.
Without any delay, I asked him to repeat proudly and very loudly, ‘Shameless and Stubborn’, only to hear them being repeated out loud with excitement and joy, symbolising the first seeds of liberation and growth of self-confidence!
Being shameless and stubborn has empowered me and the few people around me to be confident and not give up.
Below is the recipe and follow it like a gospel,
Focus more on the brighter side of an outcome and do more of what you did right.
Focus less on what you did wrong and rather think more on how can it be done better, and just do!
Even if I have failed in the eyes of family, society (definitely not mine and my teams), I am unashamed enough to accept it in a public medium as it is just another learning curve in y perspective!
Currently, it aren’t my identity as a ‘leader and entrepreneur’, rather the ‘recognition of its responsibility’ and ‘its respects and regard’ given by those who ‘believe in me’, which gives meaning and purpose to my very existence.
The greatest and foremost lesson that I learnt in my life, is the one below:
‘Asking right question matters more than answering right ’
Now I would like to request you to recollect the number of times you did not make a choice and take an action, fearing the outcome of its result.
Apart those situations where you did it for the right reasons, if the answer happens to be even ‘one’, start being ‘shameless and stubborn!’
I would like to apologise for the lengthy sentences and shortcomings once again. Hopefully, if situations allow, I will post the next article of this series titled, ‘Choices and Consequences’.
Looking forward to your valuable opinions in the comment and in DMs. Thanks!
